Lion's Whiskers

Compiled and written by Lisa and Jennifer:

Moral Courage

“He who does not punish evil commands it to be done.” —Leonardo da Vinci

“Perfect courage means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.”— La Rochefoucauld

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their mind to be good or evil.” — Hannah Arendt

Moral courage looks like:

• helping someone push a car out of a snowbank, even if it means being late
• standing up to a bully on the playground
• picking up litter
• doing homework or chores without being reminded
• refusing to listen to or repeat gossip
• practicing what you preach, even when no-one is looking or knows
• turning in a toy or a wallet to the Lost and Found
• a teen who calls home for a ride from a party where alcohol is being served
• a teacher who gives all students an equal voice regardless of race, socioeconomic status, religion, gender or sexual orientation
• a company whistle blower risking job loss, financial cost, and or legal repercussion
• reporting a crime
• participating in a peaceful protest

Lack of moral courage looks like:

• walking away from someone in need
• taking more than your fair share
• laughing at someone’s misfortune or accident
• grabbing the spotlight from someone who has earned it
• placing too much reliance on the letter rather than the spirit of the law
• remaining silent in the face of wrong-doing or injustice
• rationalizations or justifications for action/lack of action
• being inconsistent or capricious with rules and standards for our children
• choosing sides after seeing which way the wind is blowing
• breaking a promise
• lying or cheating

Moral courage sounds like:

• “I believe strongly in _________.”
• “That joke was offensive to women/Muslims/the disabled/etc.”
• “Let’s volunteer.”
• “Dad, I’m in trouble.”
• “I am going to campaign for __________.”
• “It’s not fair that ____________.”
• “I broke this, Mom.  I’m sorry.”
• “I’ll march with you.”
• “No, thanks, I don’t want to hear a secret!” 
• “You shouldn’t talk behind her/his back.”
• “Will you sign this petition?” 
• “You can depend on me.”

Lack of moral courage sounds like:

• “It’s none of my business.”
• “She got what she deserved.”
• “That’s got nothing to do with me.”
• “How could you do this to me?”
• “It’s not for me to judge.” *
• “I only did it once.”
• “This is all your fault!”
• “Just let it slide.”
• “There’s no use trying to change the system, it’s just too strong.”
• “Nobody else is doing anything about it, why should I?”
• “I might get into trouble.”
• “Don’t make waves.”
• “Nobody ever gives me a break.”

* as a way to shirk personal responsibility.

Grab Some Lion’s Whiskers!
Here are some tips for developing moral courage for you and your kids:

• role-play losing a toy, ask your child to imagine what it would feel like if nobody returned the lost item
• show good sportsmanship and request your children to do the same
• be a good loser and a good winner
• offer ethical dilemmas to discuss at the dinner table; here are some conversation starters: is it ever okay to steal? lie? cheat? If you’re driving home at three in the morning and there’s no traffic for miles around, is it okay to go through a red light?  Is tattling on someone good or bad?
• choose a charitable cause to support as a family
• beware self-righteousness!  we all stumble and fall sometimes
• be a good listener to your kids; if you have their trust they are more likely to come to you when there’s trouble
• let your kids, especially your teens, know that you’d rather hear it from them 
• tell a story about a mistake that you made and what you learned from it
• tell a story about your biggest flop; be sure that enough time has elapsed that you can find some laughter in it!
• share stories that show people making difficult choices

What are your ideas about moral courage, your parenting tips to promote it with kids, or your favorite moral courage story (fiction or non-fiction)?  We’d love to hear from you!

Here are other blog posts related to moral courage: Helper & Guide, David & Goliath, Getting to the Heart of Courage , Healthy Attachment Between Parent and Child,  Fenrir: Big, Bad Wolf,  
The Path to Courage: Irena Gutowa’s Story ,
 Beowulf: A Hero’s Tale Retold, Hard-Wired to Care: You Matter in the Moral Life of Your Children, Raising a Good Citizen of the World, Using Moral Courage to Navigate Facebook and other Social Jungles

Here’s more on the types of courage:
What is Physical Courage?
What is Social Courage?
What is Intellectual Courage?
What is Emotional Courage?
What is Spiritual Courage?
 

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