I’ve written a guest post for a wonderful blog written by Melynda Coble Harrison, to inspire parents to get outside with their kids and discover the natural world.  Here’s the link to read my post about coaching physical courage in our kids and climbing trees!

The difference between the diminished individual, wistfully yearning toward full humanness but never quite daring to make it, versus the unleashed individual, growing well toward his or her destiny, is simply the difference between fear and courage.

~Abraham Maslow

Courage is an antidote to the fear bred in our society.  Without courage, even tasks that require minimal effort can become difficult and seem insurmountable.

I gain comfort, and the insight necessary to face the situations requiring courage in my life, when I remember self-help author Byron Katie’s philosophy: “Reality is always kinder than we think it is.”  Intellectual courage often requires questioning our thinking. 

Intellectual courage also involves the choice to accept the circumstances of our lives, whilst clearing away the mental phantoms standing in our path towards creating what we want in our life and in the lives of our children.  My daughter and I have read Byron Katie’s children’s book together, which helps teach younger children (ages 4-10) the concept of ‘questioning your thinking’…a self-reflective intellectual skill kids typically begin to develop around age 7.  I have also used this book with children I’ve treated as a child/family therapist who are dealing with worry, anxiety, or social distress. 

Here’s a quick test, when you ask a young child to sing “Happy Birthday” to themselves (in their own heads), you will likely hear them sing “Happy Birthday to you!…” out loud and proud! But, around age 7, when you ask a child to sing the song to themselves, you will not hear anything…that’s the beginning of inner dialogue!  Therefore, especially when my kids were young, I was very mindful of speaking lovingly to them…knowing full well our dialogue would soon become part of the background track for their own inner dialogue.

Courage

It is in the small things we see it.

The child's first step,

as awesome as an earthquake.

The first time you rode a bike,

wallowing up the sidewalk.

The first spanking when your heart

went on a journey all alone.

When they called you crybaby

or poor or fatty or crazy

and made you into an alien,

you drank their acid

and concealed it.

Later, if you faced the death of bombs and bullets

you did not do it with a banner,

you did it with only a hat to

cover your heart.

You did not fondle the weakness inside you

though it was there.

Your courage was a small coal

that you kept swallowing.

If your buddy saved you

and died himself in so doing,

then his courage was not courage,

it was love; love as simple as shaving soap.

Later, if you have endured a great despair,

then you did it alone,

getting a transfusion from the fire,

picking the scabs off your heart,

then wringing it out like a sock.

Next, my kinsman, you powdered your sorrow,

you gave it a back rub

and then you covered it with a blanket

and after it had slept a while

it woke to the wings of the roses

and was transformed.

Later, when you face old age and its natural conclusion

your courage will still be shown in the little ways,

each spring will be a sword you'll sharpen,

those you love will live in a fever of love,

and you'll bargain with the calendar

and at the last moment

when death opens the back door

you'll put on your carpet slippers

and stride out.