Sitting together before heading to bed, my girl poured out a few last-minute worries. I decided to push aside my own worry and practice the first rule of thumb for any good therapist: join with the person you're listening to. Don't try to make them feel or think anything that they aren't in that moment. Just hear where they are at, without judgment or agenda. It's part of building trust and rapport. Joining can also allow feelings to transform in healthy, sometimes unexpected, ways. So, I said simply “You know, it’s okay to be scared when starting something new." After a few moments, with her permission to offer a bit of advice, I reiterated what I've taught both my kids: "Being scared and being excited can feel the same. Both are meant to help you be alert, pay attention, do your best, and not get lost in the hallways on your first day. Before going to bed, focus on just one thing about tomorrow that you are most excited about. Paint a picture in your mind of what you are looking forward to about tomorrow, like seeing a good friend in the hallway between classess or inviting you to sit together at lunch. The more details you can imagine, the better. Like what you are wearing, how good and relaxed you feel wearing your favorite new clothes, etc.” Then, I just held her and adopted my son’s belief: all will be well.