Whether or not your first days as a parent were spent breastfeeding on the couch watching Oprah, like me or not,  psychologists now understand that the bonding between a parent and child (or caregiver and child) occurs in a myriad of ways.  The important thing is that bonding happens!  Without developing the ability to care about ourselves and each other…we rarely possess the kind of heroic heart we need to thrive in life.   

It has also now been established that though breastfeeding has obvious benefits for both mother and child; it is the association between a mother’s antecedent sensitivity to her child which lends breastfeeding its secondary social attachment benefits. Noriuchi, Kikuchi, & Senoo’s (2008) study showed that there is a strong association between a mother’s sensitivity to her infants’ cries (versus smiles) and her decision to breastfeed. They concluded that observation as biologically significant and related to our ability to adapt to the specific demands associated with infant care.  Other researchers, too, have concluded that it is the quality of mother-infant interaction at six months, rather than the type of feeding, that predicts security of attachment (Britton et al., 2006). 

As a parenting coach, I always make sure to assess whether or not the bonding between a parent and child was a difficult or easeful process.  I ask how the couple managed the transition to parenthood, or how the individual adapted to his/her role as caregiver/adoptive, foster, or step-parent.  My clients and I revisit any lingering questions, regrets, or concerns that may have impacted early parental bonding.  In the case of any traumatic history impacting parent-child bonding, mental health/family counseling may be recommended.  Then, if need be, we begin the process of revisiting those weaker links in the bond between parent and child to strengthen the connection.