Comments on: The Way We Hold Our Babies

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 09:28:00 +0000

Many years ago my wife did volunteer work at a women's bureau.One of the things she was trained to do with new mothers is to watch which side they hold their child on.If they held their child on the right side, it was considered a possible warning sign that she wasn't bonding well with her child.I have since then not been able to find anything to support this. I have two questions.First, what studies, if any, support that?Second, we have seen one instance where a woman who didn't have any children yet held our children on her right side.We wondered if it wasn't a possible red flag that she may not be as excited about having children as the claimed she was because she almost always held our children on her right side. Sure enough when she got married, she is having problems bonding with her own child and sometimes seems annoyed by having to take care of him. If a young man is trying to determine whether or not he wants to marry a woman, and she consistently holds other people's children on her right side, should he consider that to be a possible red flag?

By: Lisa Dungate

Lisa Dungate — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 03:44:00 +0000

Thanks Anonymous for your interesting comment. All the studies utilized for this study are cited in the sources section. I would be cautious to extrapolate conclusions about a potential spouse's ability to bond with a baby based on this behavioral observation; however, as left-side holding does HELP to promote bonding, it is a useful habit to pick up to support parent-child bonding. That said, if a mom is nursing, regardless of left-hand hold preference some right-hand hold will be necessary to help nourish her child. The reason that we found this study so interesting is that it shows how wise nature is in promoting secure attachment for the healthy survival of the species! That said, if maternity nurses, midwifes, and early development/intervention specialists could help parents develop such secure attachment-promoting behaviors as simply as adopting the left-hand hold, babies would be the happy beneficiaries of enhanced right-brain development and secure parent-childattachment. With regards to the "red flag" you speak of, in my experience as a child/family therapist, asking the important questions, like those provided in the great book "The Conscious Bride," about marriage, having children, and child-rearing beliefs/values prior to marrying seems a more reliable gauge–but observing one another around children no doubt does provide interesting opportunities to observe our potential spouse as a possible future parent.

By: ThaiHoa

ThaiHoa — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 12:06:00 +0000

Very interesting.I did not know that it mattered which side you held your baby.As I read and thought back to when she was a baby she did get cradled mostly on the left side and nursed mostly on my left.Also, now when I hold her for reading or when she lies with me in bed it is usually on my left side…weird.

By: Lisa Dungate

Lisa Dungate — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 07:38:00 +0000

Thanks Barbaloot for taking this time to share how you intuitively held and bonded with your son! Glad to know that you, too, found the research interesting and affirming.

By: Barbaloot

Barbaloot — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 06:30:00 +0000

Very interesting!I noticed when I adopted my son that I always held him on my left and at first I worried this was somehow unbalanced.I tried to mix it up and hold him on the right sometimes, but found it just inexplicably annoying so I gave up and stuck with the left.Nice to know what was going on.