By: Lisa Dungate

Lisa Dungate — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 09:34:00 +0000

Love the story MaryBeth!Thank you! It takes courage to trust our gut, be real, and tell the stories that expose our vulnerability or may not make us look all that good in another’s eyes. Our goal in providing Courage Challenges and 5-Minute Courage Workouts is to offer opportunities to help discuss, prepare, and practice some of the courage muscles our children will need in life.It is just as important to sit back and watch, not rescue, our children practice necessary life skills on their own.Sometimes we don't know what they have retained and are truly capable of handling, until they are handed an opportunity to practice.It often requires us to move outside our comfort zone to not immediately want to rush in, soothe, and comfort our child when things get uncomfortable, unpredictable, or unknown.That said, often it is those very moments of discomfort that can actually be the most potent life lessons and courage strengtheners.Your friend moved outside her comfort zone in her own way, you in yours…a judgment-free parenting zone often requires recognizing that there are as many ways to parent as there are children to parent.Loving ourselves as parents is as important as loving our children!

By: MaryBeth

MaryBeth — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 09:48:00 +0000

"A Courage Challenge"
When my son Devin was three, he and his older sisters were taking swimming lessons at our community pool. It was a beautiful outdoor pool, filled with youngsters enjoying free swim, and families camped out for the day on blankets with lunch baskets.One day I saw a friend of mine sitting on the far side of the pool so I went over to talk with her.Devin had not seen me move, so I watched him, as we were chatting away, get out of the pool and look for me in the usual spot.When he saw I wasn't there, his eyes scanned around the pool."Look."I said to my friend."Devin doesn't know where I am.Let's see what he does."Now let me say upfront that I know nothing about child development levels, or separation anxiety triggers, or 'the road to independence.' All I have ever known when it comes to parenting is what I saw my mom and the other mothers do as I was growing up, and my own inner gut feeling of what my children could handle on their own.So I was giddy to see what my little three year old charmer was about to do at that moment. I watched him as he scanned the crowd.'Wait for it, I'm over here, keep looking...'I thought. But the woman I was with was not of the same mind at all.To her credit, she followed her own inner feelings.She looked at me, looked at Devin, waited a few seconds as I watched him looking slightly frantic, but not panicked.And then she acted.She bolted out of her lounge chair, sprinted around the edges of the pool with little steps that were supposed to mean she wasn't running, and grabbed Devin by the hand, pointing to me.He caught on pretty quick and waddled himself over to where I was.And I was feeling like a schmuck.What was I thinking?Obviously it was not OK to let a 3 year old try to find you at the pool.My dear friend now knows what a lousy parent I am.Why did I think that was a good thing to do?She never said a word about it.But to this day I felt guilty.Until this day.Because maybe, just maybe what my gut told me was not such abad thing.I believe Devin would have spotted me, and then known that even if Mom wasn't always where you expect her, she's around somewhere and if you don't panic, you'll find her.We'll never know.But thank you Lisa, for describing what I did as a "Courage Challenge"and not the twisted joke of a tired mother. Makes me sound smart, eh?

Comments on: Introducing Courage Challenges

By: Lisa Dungate

By: MaryBeth