Comments on: Bonding with Baby

By: Lisa Dungate

Lisa Dungate — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 12:20:00 +0000

Thank you Alysa for the inspired and important work you are doing with babes and their parents to promote their bonding! You are going to love some of the research I've discovered recently, which I'll be sharing in my upcoming post "The Way We Hold Our Babes", scheduled for 3/31. The research is clear, the more securely attached a child, the more confident he/she is to venture out into the world courageously! Blessings to you in all you do to support parents and their babes!

By: Lisa Dungate

Lisa Dungate — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 12:57:00 +0000

Thanks ThaiHoa for your heartfelt comment.We also tried, on a few particularly sleep-deprived occassions, to have our son cry himself to sleep with heartbreaking results.Though we had to slowly teach him to self-soothe, separate, and fall asleep on his own, and it took much longer than we hoped by not using the Ferber method (which Ferber himself has now confirmed was meant to be used with more sleep-disordered children), it was well worth the effort in the long run.My daughter was a totally different story, gratefully she slept hours on end and was easy to soothe, especially as we now had a bigger family bed! Every family needs to make the best decision for themselves and their lifestyle, beliefs, and hopes for their children.Most of all, to have confidence in those decisions based on your love, positive intentions, and hopes for your child.

By: Alysa

Alysa — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 11:18:00 +0000

As a doula, I am particularly interested in how the hospital setting for birth often times gets in the way of the normal mother/baby and father/baby bonding that is important in those early hours and days. Eye ointment immediately after birth when babies are alert, initiating breastfeeding, and imprinting mom's face. Babies that are not rooming in with mom and dad. Tight swaddling can inhibit feeding cues. Particularly for babies who need to be in a NICU. NICU babies who are held skin to skin actually get well soon, grow faster, maintain their temperature sooner etc...We are carry mammals. Somehow we have forgotten that. Can you imagine what a mother monkey would do if you took her new baby and put it in another room behind glass to be cared for by another monkey? She would freak!

As a postpartum doula I speak to parents a lot about how it is OK to hold your baby A LOT. Many parents are concerned about spoiling their child. That by holding them a lot, or allowing the baby to sleep in their room that this will somehow make them weak or result in them wanting to sleep with them forever. 90% of the families I work with have these concerns. We are carry mammals! We could learn a lot about bonding and raising confident and healthy children by watching monkeys!

By: ThaiHoa

ThaiHoa — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 07:29:00 +0000

You know I had beent old several times that if nothing else works do the "crying it out" method!Well, my husband constantly faught me against it and I admit I hated every moment of it.I though my child should be caressed and loved not left alone to cry no matter how exhausetd I was.I could never pull it through.It was so hard for me and from this experience I will not recommend it for my next child.I think consoling your baby is one of the best parts of bonding.That touch and nurturing and knowing they can trust you to take care of their needs.Breastfeeding was one of my favorite things to do.I actually miss it although I hear lots of moms talk about how much they couldn't wait for it to stop.